With all the recent events in my life I am having some motivational issues with training but especially diet. While I am holding my own for the most part physique wise, for example I am still over 220# I can still see all my abs. (just not as well) I am still strong in all my exercises. It is just hard to push myself.
This is a VERY foreign felling for me. I mean 30 years I have been training. I do not miss workouts even when sick if I can get through it. But right now I just don’t care that much. I think about training and I want to say fuck it. A part of me is like “WTF are you saying!” “What do you mean fuck it!?” I mean fuck it! I feel like what’s the point of going through the pain. My joints hurt and I am tired. 30 years is a long time. And with all the unknowns in front of me it is quite daunting to be honest. Not sure what to get drive from and after 30 years you need a goal trust me.
The diet part is very hard for me. Number one because I can stay pretty lean regardless. Number two, I tend not to diet off-season anyway and this may be a verrrry long off-season. I just do not know what direction to go I guess.
I fight anxiety everyday all day. I would not say I am depressed just because it is not really in me to do so but this may also be androgen related to some degree. Not really sure because I have never gone through it. I suppose time will tell on that but my libido is good still so who knows.
I am not crying about anything here I am just venting I suppose. Hope you all do not mind me venting here! I am sure I will get back on track as soon as I know what’s going to happen. Not that I am missing any workouts but the workouts are not say video worthy by any means! Good part about old muscle is you don’t need to kill it to maintain it! Thank God for that! I do need to not be eating 4 Reese’s Big Cups at once like I did last night though that much is for certain!
I will come out of this stronger and better with even more temper to my metal! My dad said to me a long time ago “They can kill ya son but they can’t eat ya! That would be against God’s law!” Well they will not kill me either!
